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| The thing that impresses me the most about America is the way parents obey their children. (King Edward VIII) |
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| Anyone who uses the phrase 'easy as taking candy from a baby' has never tried taking candy from a baby. (Unknown) |
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| Learning to dislike children at an early age saves a lot of expense and aggravation later in life. (Robert Byrne) |
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| My mother had a great deal of trouble with me, but I think she enjoyed it. (Mark Twain) |
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| The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for thirty years she served the family nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found. (Calvin Trillin) |
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| There was a time when we expected nothing of our children but obedience, as opposed to the present, when we expect everything of them but obedience. (Anatole Broyard) |
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| The reason grandparents and grandchildren get along so well is that they have a common enemy. (Sam Levenson) |
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| The place of the father in the modern suburban family is a very small one, particularly if he plays golf. (Bertrand Russell) |
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| Children are all foreigners. (Ralph Waldo Emerson) |
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| If your parents never had children, chances are you won't, either. (Dick Cavett) |
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| My mother loved children -- she would have given anything if I had been one. (Groucho Marx) |
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| Never raise your hand to your children; it leaves your midsection unprotected. (Robert Orben) |
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| Parents were invented to make children happy by giving them something to ignore. (Ogden Nash) |
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| I have found the best way to give advice to your children is to find out what they want and then advise them to do it. (Harry S Truman) |
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| Human beings are the only creatures that allow their children to come back home. (Bill Cosby) |
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| The first half of our lives is ruined by our parents, and the second half by our children. (Clarence Darrow) |
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| Neurotics build castles in the air, psychotics live in them. My mother cleans them. (Rita Rudner) |
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| If you can give your son or daughter only one gift, let it be enthusiasm. (Bruce Barton) |
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| Level with your child by being honest. Nobody spots a phony quicker than a child. (Mary MacCracken) |
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| Don't limit a child to your own learning, for he was born in another time. (Rabbinical Saying) |
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| If you cannot get rid of the family skeleton, you may as well make it dance. (George Bernard Shaw) |
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| If you want to see what children can do, you must stop giving them things. (Norman Douglas) |
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